Tuesday, October 23, 2012

How Justin Verlander Saved At Least 800 People

BEAUTIFUL DOWNTOWN DETROIT
On Wednesday night the World Series will begin. It will be played between the Detroit Tigers and San Francisco Giants.  The series will start in San Francisco thanks to Tigers starting pitcher Justin Verlander.

And because of that, Justin Verlander saved the lives of at least 800 people.

You may remember a warm night in Kansas City this past July when Justin Verlander allowed 5 runs in the first inning of the All Star Game, eliminating the American League from the game and allowing the National League to have home field advantage in the World Series.

At the time you thought Justin Verlander was just terrible and that he should probably die. What you didn't know is that Justin just wanted to try and make sure you didn't.

According to a recent report from Forbes Magazine, the most dangerous city in the United States is -- SHOCKER -- Detroit. Yes, that's right. The city that will play host to at least two World Series games this year is literally covered in blood.
The best crime news out of Detroit these days is that the rate of violent crimes – murder, rape, robbery and aggravated assault – fell 10% last year to 2,137 per 100,000 residents. That’s still more than five times the national average and more than enough to make Detroit America’s Most Dangerous City for the fourth year in a row. 
So what does that mean?

Do the math, baseball fan. There are 2,137 violent crimes in Detroit for every 100,000 residents. Comerica Park, which will be sold out for the World Series, seats 41,255 people.

That means there will be 881.62 violent crimes committed during each game of the World Series at Comerica Park.

You bought a ticket for a chance to see history, but you're more likely to be shivved in the bathroom and left to bleed out over the $15 in your wallet.

If there are three games played in Detroit this year that means 2,644.86 people are going to lose their lives. Had there been four games in Detroit that total would rise to 3,526.48 people.

But thanks to Justin Verlander, those people won't be murdered at the World Series. They'll be murdered some other time, because they live in Detroit, and it's a fucking hellhole.

Go Giants.

1 comment:

Feel free to vent about how much any player sucks, but no hate speech directed at anybody, be it a player or a fellow commenter.