Monday, February 27, 2012

FanGraphs Can Kiss My Ass


I have never been shy about my feelings toward shit like Moneyball. Be it the book, philosophy, or craptastic movie. Because of this, the baseball nerds have never much liked me.

You see, the nerds think they know more about baseball because they have spreadsheets. All I did was play the game as a child and then professionally for nine seasons before retiring and spending the rest of my life around baseball.

BUT THE NERDS! THEY READ A BOOK! THEY GOT A COMPUTER! SO THEY OBVIOUSLY KNOW MORE ABOUT THE GAME OF BASEBALL THAN I EVER COULD.

It's because of this attitude that the nerds don't like me, and they spread their nerd propaganda whenever they can. The latest example of this bullshit comes from the nerds at FanGraphs.

They ran a poll of the fans about broadcasting teams in baseball, and guess which duo came in last.
31. Chicago White Sox
Broadcasters: Hawk Harrelson and Steve Stone
Ratings (Charisma/Analysis/Overall): 2.1, 2.2, 2.0 
Three Reader Comments
• “The broadcast questions are a bit misleading because Steve Stone is excellent and Hawk Harrelson is not. I am not quite as bothered by Hawk’s problems as others but he can be unbearable to listen to.”
• “Harrelson is a whiny homer. But at least he is a whiny homer with some personality.”
• “In a perfect perdition, Hawk Harrelson would be forced to listen to himself for eternity.” 
Notes
It’d be easier to describe Hawk Harrelson as a “polarizing” figure among FanGraphs readers if there were more respondents who defended him. While I, personally, am less put off by Harrelson’s antics than many readers — and, in fact, prefer him to certain broadcasters who appear to revel in blandness and polish — there’s no question that Harrelson is entirely himself. One note: one respondent left a 389-word note regarding the Harrelson-Stone team. That’s nearly as long as many posts on this site, and indicative of the sort of powerful feelings Harrelson is capable of provoking.
FUCKING NERDS.

I'd be more upset about it, but I'm too busy getting laid and actually going outside to have a life and watching actual baseball being played. I just don't have the time to jerk off to somebody's wOBA.

So kiss my ass, nerds.

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