Saturday, October 1, 2011

They Play Baseball In October? - Some Dude Named Matt Moore And A Lot Of Rain


Every day during the MLB postseason, NotHawk will "recap" the games that took place the day before. Just so you don't have to watch, because he's charitable like that.

 TAMPA BAY 9 TEXAS 0

Some guy who I never heard of named Matt Moore came out for Tampa Bay and absolutely dominated the Rangers in front of 50,000 people who mistakenly thought they were going to a Cowboys game. Moore pitched 7 innings and allowed only 2 hits, and after watching that performance,  I don't know that he's the greatest left-handed pitcher I've ever seen in my 45 decades in Major League Baseball, but I don't know any better.

He was Catfishin' the shit out of the Rangers.

As for C.J. Wilson, he decided that he didn't want to be all that rich, so he sacrificed a few million dollars this winter by letting Kelly fucking Shoppach hit two home runs and drive in 5 runs. Kelly. Fucking. Shoppach. The same Kelly Shoppach that hit .176 this season. Wilson essentially gave up 2 home runs to Adam Dunn.

Tampa Bay leads the series 1-0.


NEW YORK 1 DETROIT 1 SUSPENDED

I tell you, nobody knows how to capitalize on the momentum of an amazing finish to the regular season like MLB. Here's a great idea, you have CC Sabathia and Justin Verlander , two guys who combined to go 43-13 this season, scheduled to face off on Friday night in New York. What a matchup that's gonna be!

SO WHAT THAT THERE'S A GIANT STORM COMING, LET'S START THIS GAME ANYWAY BECAUSE TELEVISION DICTATES EVERYTHING, AND THEN AFTER RECORDING NINE OUTS WE CAN JUST SUSPEND IT AND ENSURE THAT WHETHER OR NOT WE RESUME THE GAME OR JUST START OVER, SABATHIA AND VERLANDER CAN'T PITCH!

Bud Selig is a god damn genius.

Series tied at 0-0 thanks to the visionary tactics of MLB and Bud Selig.

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