|Look at how hammered he is in this photo|
You've probably read or at least heard about the story in the Boston Globe today about things that took place in the Red Sox clubhouse this year that may have helped lead to the team's demise over the final month of the season, and one of the factors mentioned was the fact that guys like Josh Beckett, John Lackey and Jon Lester all drinking beer in the clubhouse and playing video games during games.
Yes, it's a shocking revelation. Baseball players like beer, and they enjoy drinking it. In an even shockinger revolationer, it turns out that players do it outside of Boston too!
Like in Chicago.
A.J. Pierzynski was on The Dan Patrick Show on Wednesday morning, and guess what? He knows the benefits of the rally beer.
“Yes, absolutely I have before,” Pierzynski said. ” Sometimes you’re just really struggling and you just say ‘Hey, you know what, I need something to calm me down and let’s have a beer.’ A couple of us will do it together, and sometimes it works out. I mean, it just, sometimes you just need a rally beer. If you’re in extra innings and you’re in about the 15th inning and you need to get going again, that sometimes works for you."
I bet A.J. drinks Keystone Light. I can just feel it.
So, following the Boston model, I think it's pretty clear that this entire failure of a season is not the fault of Ozzie Guillen, Kenny Williams, Adam Dunn or Alex Rios.
It was A.J. Pierzynski's raging alcoholism.
Run him out of town!! Seriously, trade him. That's $6 million saved right there. $6 million that could go toward buying better beer for the clubhouse, and better beer leads to better chemistry and better chemistry leads to better teams. It's baseball science.
UPDATE: Per RumblinBuff's request in the comments, here you go.
In other news, I don't have Photoshop.